That one time I lost my mind...and found myself.
While most were celebrating love yesterday, I spent the day minding my business and reflecting on how it marked 3 years since I experienced an episode of psychosis and ultimately found out I was in liver failure after having COVID-19.
I’ve never been one to celebrate V-day, I barely acknowledge it, and my experience 3 years ago definitely overshadows it now. What if I told you that I remember almost everything about that experience? That I remained aware throughout most of that episode of psychosis and can recall most of the details leading up to it, during it, and what came after. What if I told you I don’t believe I experienced psychosis at all? That, to me, I had a spiritual awakening that was beyond this vessel’s comprehension which resulted in a system overload.
There’s so much I’ve been wanting to share about experiencing psychosis, yet I’ve been cautious and strategic in doing so. Society is quick to label people as crazy and conspiracy theorists when they begin to share their stories, their truths. Yet if it was solely conspiracy, solely lies, why do those in perceived power (the tipps as I like to call them) work so hard to hide it? Only to share it later once it’s convenient for them to do so.
It’s an ugly day once you realize that every single system that stems from the foundational principles of amerikkka are rooted in oppression. And I do mean: Every. Single. System. Some that immediately come to mind are education, governance, healthcare, justice, military, etc. That’s why changing them isn’t working. Change is nothing more than a temporary repositioning. Our whole way of life needs to go through a complete transformation.
Oppression is truly the root of all evil. Not money. Not sex. Not addiction. Not a difference of opinion. It’s oppression. Oppression is like a virus. It can only live and survive within a host. Once it’s passed along, it’s then internalized, replicated, and passed on by the next host. And so on and so on.
Why do you think it’s been able to last so long? Not solely because of various fear-mongering, policies, and war tactics. Yet, it was after the original perpetrators of oppression initiated their quest for domination that we saw the oppressed become the overseers of their peers and the next generation. And we’ve been stuck in this vicious cycle ever since. So when I talk about my recovery journey and why I do the work I do, I share my experiences with addiction and mental illness as a way to advocate that these conditions/states of being are symptoms, more so byproducts, of surviving an oppressed state of existence.
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